I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
