i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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