all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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