i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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