You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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