I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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