Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
