Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
time to smoke my breakfast
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so much tequila, so little girl.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
