This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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