i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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