just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize