Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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