Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
