Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize