Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was CRYING into my vagina
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
