I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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