If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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