Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
