You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
