So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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