I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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