Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize