I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
