OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
