You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
