i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
