I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
