Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
