You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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