I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize