I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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