I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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