is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
