So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
