so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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