remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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