i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
