either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
