I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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