tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
