rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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