i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
