He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
