I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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