If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
