Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
