Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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