there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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