If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
