lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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