The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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