I only kidnapped one of them. chill
are you so shy because you have an std?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize