Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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