what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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